So just what is Emotional Intelligence or EI?
The higher your EI, the more you understand who you are. And the more you understand yourself, the more you are in tune with how you are feeling, and even more importantly, why you feel the way you feel.
You will also be healthier physically, mentally, and emotionally.
You will even understand what beliefs and habits hold you back from living up to your potential, and achieving the greatest level of health and happiness.
Additionally, EI will help you understand other people better, too. You’ll engage more deeply with others and have a greater sense of intimacy in all of your relationships.
So how do you begin to raise your level of self-awareness?
1. Grow Your Self-Awareness
First, you have to commit to it. That might sound so obvious when I say it, but it’s not an apparent habit to most.
Becoming self-aware means becoming aware of every thought you think, every word you choose, and every action you take. It’s also understanding how people in your life affect you: good or bad. Acknowledging everything you watch, read and listen to also has an impact on you, your energy, and how you see the world.
Many people begin this process to becoming self-aware by journaling or using an app like Expereal to track their moods, behaviors and reactions. This creates a greater habit of consistent self-awareness, self-reflection, and identification to connections.
2. Identify Your Self-Limiting Beliefs and Self-Sabotaging Behaviors
You will need to become aware of the things in your life which have been painful. I know you won’t want to do this, but it’s CRITICAL.
Most of us bury our “stuff” deep down so we don’t have to deal with it, but I promise you that is the WORST mistake you can ever make. If you don’t deal with the pain today, it won’t go away until it’s resolved.
If you do try to bury this “stuff,” the unhealed/unresolved feelings become your triggers and belief systems, which will eventually become your “saboteurs” without you even realizing it.
Those are the voices in your head telling you you’re not good enough, pretty enough, strong enough, and whatever other word inserted before the word ‘enough.’
And you can keep creating as much negative self-talk as possible, only to diminish your perception of your own worth.
For example, how many of you have ever dealt with:
- Death of a loved one?
- Bullying/verbal abuse?
- Physical, or sexual abuse?
These are some of the most common reasons people experience pain, also known as emotional trauma.
Emotional trauma shapes and defines our fears and belief systems, which then cause consistent self-sabotaging behaviors. We are held back from happiness and inner peace when we don’t acknowledge our trauma for what it is.
For example, if someone you loved cheated on you, it hurt your feelings. Maybe you felt betrayed or more importantly, maybe you felt that something was wrong with you, like you weren’t enough in some way. So you took that experience and made it mean something about you, and about others.
Then, a few months later, you meet someone great, but since you never healed your trauma/pain from the last relationship — and you never changed your belief system about what happened — you still believe their cheating was about you and now people can’t be trusted.
So you begin to self-sabotage your new relationship, consciously and sub-consciously. You become guarded and defensive and not the fun, loving, carefree person you were in the beginning. You become insecure in the value you add to the relationship and see everyone else as your competition.
Do you see where I am going with this?
And yes, a month later the relationship ends because you projected all of your fears and self-created belief systems from your unhealed relationship to a new, exciting one.
Now that you’ve broken up, it only validates your other belief systems that, “You are not enough,” “You have the worst luck in relationships,” and so forth, and the cycle continues.
So what’s the solution and what does emotional intelligence mean to all of this?
3. Bolster Your Self Worth
An emotionally intelligent person heals their wounds from the past so they don’t relive them in the future.
They realize they have control over one thing in life: their perception. They understand nothing has meaning, other than the meaning they give it, so they never take other people’s “stuff” personally.
From the story about cheating above, how might the emotionally intelligent person handle the situation? I’m sure they would still be hurt and disappointed, but they wouldn’t make it about them.
4. Change Your Beliefs
Can you see how all of this can be applied to every aspect of your life?
If so, you need to create a new, empowering belief system to be free!
Free of self-sabotaging behaviors, free of negative self-talk, free of sadness, pain, and frustration. How would that feel to you?
Life is meant to be lived from a place of abundance, love, happiness and joy…not suffering.
Emotional Intelligence is completely teachable and the best “students” are those who strive to have the highest levels of self-actualization. They want be the best they can be on a daily basis.
Begin today by getting to know yourself better than you ever have before. Commit to:
1. growing your self awareness
2. identifying your self-limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging behaviors
3. bolstering your sense of self-worth
4. changing your beliefs – it’s all possible for you and your life—no limits!
And, this 5th one is just as important. Commit to:
5. increasing your communication and intimacy in all of your relationships
Ask friends and loved ones to join you on this journey, to hold each other accountable, and experience success and bliss like never before.
September is Self-Improvement Month. Keep watching for more posts from fitness, health, and nutrition experts on What’s Up USANA? to make improvements to your life and well-being.
Jen Groover is a favorite with USANA’s distributors and leaders for her inspirational messages and her entrepreneurial insight. She is considered a serial entrepreneur who’s gone from guest-hosting spots on QVC to inking deals with some of the industry’s biggest heavyweights. Her success began with the creation of the Butler Bag, the world’s first compartmentalized handbag, and has evolved into an entire lifestyle brand, which can now be found at several prominent retailers. She’s also behind Leader Girlz, which teaches young girls the importance of empowerment through play, and her newest brand, Empowered by Jen Groover. Groover is also the author of “What If? And Why Not?” and has graced the stage at many a USANA event, providing thought-provoking advice in relationships and business building.
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